woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
