I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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