i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
