Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
