Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize