Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
