i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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