so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
