we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
