East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
