everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
