Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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