And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
