i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
