i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
