FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
