I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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