he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm too high and old for this...
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