reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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