First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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