Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
