I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
