Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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