it was like eating out sand paper
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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