my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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