my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Please don't give away my fajitas
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