Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
