I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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