He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I supernannyed him into submission
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
