the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
