she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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