Having a random hookup so left but love u
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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