She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
