I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
