I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
