Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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