Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
