everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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