He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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