Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
