my sisters under your porch take her home
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
