make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
