I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
