i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize