But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
