I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize