5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
