i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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