Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everclear isn't food dammit
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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