I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
