She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
