okay pat passed out under dana's car
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
