where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Randomize
