Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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