trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
