And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
