Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
