i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize