thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got inside last night via doggy door
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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